2009

What can I say about 2008? It was the hardest year of our lives. Our littlest was diagnosed with a life threatening condition. I remember the day he was diagnosed. He was in surgery and the docs came out and confirmed he had Biliary Atresia. I swooned and fell back against the wall. Had the wall not been there, I think I would have landed flat on my bum. Thank you wall.

Things seemed to spiral downward from there. We watched for months as he declined. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about how close to dying he really was. He was so very sick. It was all so hard to comprehend.

I'm pretty sure I never truly wrapped my brain around exactly what was happening. I lived on Denial St. for the better part of 2008 (it actually wasn’t such a bad place to be.) It’s hard to accept you have no control over your child’s health and it is the worst feeling…ever. It felt like no matter what I did, nothing helped. I followed all instructions given by the doctors to the letter. I gave him his meds as directed, I pumped gallons of formula into his starving body, I took him to all his appt’s with out fail, I also prayed and meditated and contacted whoever I could think of to help. Nothing seemed to make a difference.

He only had one chance…transplant. That’s another concept that is hard to grasp. How is it that a child, who is not even a year old, has to HAVE a transplant? I think even if someone explains it to me, I will never be able to understand it. Anyway…

2008 also turned out the best year of our lives. After many torturous months and weeks upon weeks in the hospital, a miracle happened. I will never forget the night the doctors came in and said words of hope. A liver had been found. They were going to save his life. Inside I was shattering into a million emotional pieces. I was so happy but frightened too…especially about the surgery. Transplant isn’t a simple surgery. It is a major surgery and surgery has big risks.

Time passed painfully slow those hours we waited for him to come out. When it was complete and they wheeled Xander out, I was so relieved. He had done well. He looked so good. He looked so very good. I couldn’t wait until to wrap my arms around him and tell him how brave he was.

Since his transplant, things have been getting better and I am looking forward to 2009. I look forward to Xander’s health improving each and every day. I look forward to spending more time with Linc. I look forward to living with my husband again. It’s been far too long that our little family has been apart. I think it's going to be a stellar year.

Happy New Year!
From our family to yours, we wish you health and prosperity in the coming year. Take time to give thanks to the divine forces in your life. Don't forget to dance, sing and celebrate your life. Laugh as much as you can. Pray for peace. And above all be thankful for all you have.

With much love,
Ron, Blair, Lincoln and Xander