In this instance, I think hate is the appropriate word.

I hate that I was introduced into a world full of sick kids! The sadness is just so overwhelming. I think it's more so when it's a child. It's painful.

Every day a child is breaking my heart. I hate to hear how they struggle. I hate to hear they are stuck in hospitals. I hate that they have to grow up so fast. I hate that they have know this world of pain and fear and death! It makes me sick to my stomach. It's so wrong! Wrong! WRONG!

I feel so helpless and don't know what to do. I want to make their world a little better. I feel like I need to be doing something but I don't know what it is. I just keep thinking it will come to me.

I hope it does. I hope it does soon.